A Reply to An Unsent Letter

 Hello, YoungerMe.

I won't specify which one of you will receive this letter, so I will address everything that happened up to a couple months prior.

It's nice to write to you, I have received a couple letters in the past that you sent me. Lots of them are distraughtful, and I am really sorry that you have to go through all that. However, the reason why I finally write you back a reply letter was because everything gets better lately. Not a lot, but I know you'd like to hear an improvement to our situation even if it's just .0001% and still changing like a buoyant boat.

I'd like to inform you that we do get to a university. To our surprise,the ministry of education decided to change the college entrance exam in our year. Starting from zero preparation just like everyone else apparently had fluctuates your chance significantly.

What happened in that university, though… probably wasn't as good as you expected it to be. We still have to work hard, and the "I don't care" and numb attitude towards your achievements need to change. I know that it was a coping mechanism that you developed for survival, but it held us back in so many ways. We need to get used to working hard and actually learning something. Writing and reading won't do if you don't understand the essence of what you were studying. It merely become a waste of time instead of actual productive action.

Unlike what others might like to believe, the flaw in mindset is not that easy to change. It's a long and painful journey to gets off the social medias that consumed your time the most, deleting games you enjoyed, and restricting your YouTube watch time.

When I tried to do that, somehow, even after a cup of coffee and a good night sleep, my body prefer to sleep instead of studying. You went back and forth between blocking Twitter and opening it, you looked for other games alternative, and ended up binging videos about a German-Filipino couple.

It feels like a lost cause. But I am here to tell you that I want to prove that it's not.

Time is ticking, sure, but it's better to try than just giving up to the circumstances. I am willing to bleed in this battle between me and myself.

Hey, don't you still want to learn foreign language, cultures, history, and yet still keep up a good score? Yes?

Chin up, my dearest self. Your life journey is still long. Whether at the end Dumbledore said that you need to be sacrificed or you were actually a horcrux and you are not actually need to die, let the future you tell you ahead. Life is probably hard where you are at, but it's not always like that. I am pretty happy right now. Things get better. It's up to us how the narrative of our story will continue.